The proliferation of uncouth behavior across American society represents a troubling cultural shift that conflates rudeness with strength, according to attorney Donniece Gooden. In digital spaces, public forums, political arenas, and everyday interactions, there is a growing perception that being unnecessarily abrasive or aggressively rude demonstrates power or conviction. Gooden, a litigator who describes herself as no "snowflake," expressed concern about the striking lack of decorum and basic civility becoming increasingly commonplace.
Gooden recounted witnessing a disturbing incident at her regular coffee shop where staff members responded to a customer with food allergies with extreme hostility. The barista, whom Gooden noted wore a bonnet while working, was not just curt but extremely rude to a woman making specific requests about her order due to allergies. The situation escalated when other employees joined in, yelling and cursing at the customer while aggressively demanding she leave the establishment. One staff member even jumped over the counter dramatically before the humiliated customer and Gooden both departed.
The attorney argues there is a fundamental misunderstanding about what constitutes true strength. She contends that genuine strength—born of deep self-respect, conviction, and courage—is quiet and unwavering, involving the ability to be assertive and articulate beliefs clearly and respectfully. In contrast, unnecessary rudeness typically indicates weakness rather than strength. Hostility often serves as a preemptive shield for those who fear honest engagement, self-doubt, or being genuinely seen. When individuals resort to cruelty, dismissiveness, or performative aggression to make points or feel superior, they reveal internal character deficiencies.
Gooden emphasizes that assertiveness and self-belief remain crucial qualities, but they must be decoupled from the impulse to tear others down. She defines strength as defining one's own value, while weakness involves needing to devalue others to feel validated. Her perspective, she notes, stems from her upbringing in Gary, Indiana, and Norfolk, Virginia—experiences that shaped standards based on principle rather than privilege. She believes technology and social media have severely impacted how people engage with one another on a fundamental human level, contributing to this social decay.
For those concerned about this decline in civility, Gooden advocates becoming a consistent counter-force through what she calls "the classy counter-culture." She advises maintaining class—defined not by wealth or status but by grace, integrity, and self-control—even when encountering people with absolutely no class. This means choosing composure over chaos, thoughtfulness over impulse, and respect over retaliation. Engaging rude individuals on their level only validates their behavior, while maintaining personal standards represents the ultimate act of control. More information about Gooden's legal practice can be found at https://www.hierophantlaw.com.
Gooden concludes that while the proliferation of uncouth behavior is undeniable, people must be careful not to be pulled out of character by those lacking social graces. The unfortunate result of such encounters often leaves observers seeing two people acting inappropriately. She advises letting fools be fools rather than reducing oneself to their level of depravity and lack of class. While everyone has bad days, she urges maintaining class whenever possible as the proper response to the current meanness epidemic.
